Harmony, and adventures therein


My Inner Woman was way hotter than me

Ok, so back to this whole idea of feminine/masculine side and harmony therein (Ha! I did it — I worked in a there- word… my industry is saturated with rules and regulations, and I love to count the “therewhich, therefore, therein, thereafter, there….. etc’s, because they really are the most ridiculous words that exist). Anyways, I thought I would write a bit about this really funny experience I had, that was also extremely trippy. Anyways, I was reading this book awhile back. This book was all about sex and was really awesome and fascinating. One chapter was about this very thing, about harmonizing your masculine/feminine sides. Anyways, the book recommended doing this type of meditation to actually meet your masculine, and then your feminine side… because we all have them. And, as I have explained before, although my masculine side has been nurtured and reinforced with an OD on chainsaws, power tools, sports, living in the woods, camping in deserts, etc; my feminine side is kind of shrivelled and anemic, something which I would like to change. So yeah, anyways, I get myself all comfortable and relaxed, you know, your standard deep-breathing pre-meditative state, and then, earnestly, just as the book recommended, I asked to meet my Inner Man. And the whole time I am kind of skeptical right, I am thinking, this is pretty ridiculous! But I did it anyways. And what do you know, all of the sudden, as if it was on a movie screen, here is this guy, this farmer, leaning against a tractor wearing a John Deere hat and a plaid shirt and chewing on a stalk of wheat, more vivid than I could have ever intentionally imagined. And he kind of slowly drawls at me, while staring out casually and cockily at his prize field of wheat, “I like chainsaws. I like loud music. I like getting drunk and being rowdy.” And he winks at me, and turns away! And I am kind of in shock, but now I am really stoked to see my Inner Woman. So I take a few more deep breaths and then ask to see my Inner Woman, just like the book told me to. And what do you know, almost instantly, I am looking at this beautiful stone castle-like room, with a giant bed covered in a beautiful white lace duvet, and there is this beautiful, Spanish-looking princess lying there on the bed with a sexy, flowing dress on and bare feet and a huge red peony behind her ear, and she is like, “I like to be served my breakfast on a silver tray,” as she reaches over and picks up a dainty cup off a tray and sips on it, looking incredibly elegant and saucy. Then she walks over to the windo

Something like this, but with wheat

w and looks out, turns around and says to me, “You are a woman. Own it.”

Own it! I love it. And then I am thinking to myself, “Self, no wonder you are in a constant state of conflict… if you put this farmer and the princess in the same room, they might have fantastic sex but they are going to hate each other.”




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