Ok, so I have had a really insane week. I’ll spare you the details, because it will come across as a whole lot of whining. Ok, on second thought, so maybe I’ll NOT spare you some of the details, ie. give you some of the details, just so you have an idea of what kind of state I am in/have been in, the past few days.
a) I found out I am being transferred across the country, to cold, shitty, Newfoundland, against my will, and no matter how many tantrums I throw, it is not going to make one lick of difference;
b) It was my birthday. (Normally this would be a joyous occasion, since I like birthdays, but I am out at sea and not surrounded by my friends, loverboy, and family);
c) My grandma died.
So considering all these things, it is not surprising that people are saying things like “Beware the Ides of March!” And, being a curious person, and an especially curious person when it comes to weird names, expressions, and idioms, I looked it up. Turns out that it was the day Julius Caesar died, and some dude had foreseen it and warned him, in those exact words apparently, although probably in another language. I kind of vaguely recollected this from tenth grade English class, but it is deeply recessed in my brain, along with calculus and other arcane – but, ultimately, useless – knowledge. Anyways, it turns out (according to Wikipedia) that there is nothing inherently unlucky about the Ides of March, all it meant was “March 15th” or “The Middle of March.” How boring! I was almost disappointed. Anyways, the whole experience got me to thinking about other really shitty times in my life, most notably a week back in February of ’07 (not in March at all!) whose highlights included:
a) Got dumped (see “boys and other minefields” post for details… Coles’ Notes version: craptastic)
b) My dog got put down;
c) My awesome-paying, totally-fulfilling dream job, which I had already been doing for two years, disintegrated out of the blue.
Where am I going here? Ok, bear with me.
It seems to me that really great things always follow these kinds of shitstorm threesomes. Immediately following the dumped/dead dog/no job week, I decided to apply for the program I am in now. I got accepted, I met the love of my life, and Robert is your Father’s Brother. Never would have happened if that asshole hadn’t dumped me! Never would have happened if I didn’t lose my dream job! Never would have —- ok, probably still would have happened if my dog hadn’t died, but you never know how things are going to lead to other things and how those things will end up turning out. It really blows my mind when I think about the seemingly-random chain of events that have brought me to where I am today, sitting in front of a laptop, in my vibrating cabin, on a ship, currently steaming North somewhere in the labyrinth of the BC central coast. I mean I really couldn’t have orchestrated this if I had sat down with a pen and paper and made an intricately detailed plan for the past ten years. Just wouldn’t have happened! I would have gone to school sooner. I wouldn’t have met Awesome Boyfriend. I would NEVER have had that experience of the dream job, which affected me so deeply, and, and, and….
So back to the whole Ides of March thing…. I am starting to think that maybe I should stop thinking about bad events as “bad” but merely precursors to awesomeness. Because if I could see where I am now, from the perspective of that wretched “Me” in February of 2007, and the Now Me could have told the Then Me that “Hey, don’t fret, it’s all for the best!” It sure would have made that particular shitty time a whole lot better.
Because there’s simply nothing inherently bad about the Ides of March. It’s just a day. Another X on the calendar on the way to Who Knows What.